Our Trip: Great Wall Pictures

I have a few quiet minutes (I love you, naptime), so I thought I'd get caught up on posting pictures.  These are from The Great Wall so no Li'l Man or Li'l Dude (such a weird thought that they were both still in orphanages two-and-a-half weeks ago).  There are plenty of my sweet Li'l Miss, though.  

Here we are getting ready to head up on the cable car.  Yes, we cheated and took the cable car.  We decided the 3km uphill on the wall would be enough for a certain little lady.

Our time on the wall was incredible.  I kept finding myself thinking, "I can't believe I'm really standing on The Great Wall.  I can't believe that's Li'l Miss walking on The Great Wall.  We're on The Great Wall.  AAAAHHHHHH!" :)

This uphill section was at the end of our climb.  (You can just barely see the Chinese flag and the final lookout in the top left-hand side of this photo.)  Oh. My. Goodness.   It was crazy steep.

I'm super behind on pictures since our internet was so unreliable in Beijing and Shanghai.  I'll try to get more posted soon.  (And, yes, I'll do my best to squeeze in a few of our handsome boys. :)

Is He/She Your Own?

Please don't ask me this question.  Ever.

I've heard it (and its unsavory variants - "I'd never have guessed she wasn't your own." "Don't you want your own kids?" and "She looks like she could be your own.") more times than I care to count.

No, I don't know what it feels like to have a baby grow inside my body for nine months; I've never given birth; and none of my children have my DNA.  But that doesn't mean my love for my children is lesser (or even different) than it would be if they had my genes.  It doesn't mean that I secretly wish for something more when I hug my sweet kiddos.  Because I don't.  Period.

I know what it's like to look at my child and feel as though my heart could explode inside my body.  I've experienced the paralyzing fear of letting my precious little one go out into the world (read: cross the alley) alone.  I've questioned how parents go on breathing, moving, living after losing a child because I can't imagine that my heart could keep beating if I lost one of mine.

I've cried at the first glimpse of my new baby, lost sleep worrying that one of my kids was hurting, and agonized over my less-than-perfect parenting decisions.  I've cleaned puke, changed exploding diapers, and been peed on.  I've had moments where I've wondered if I'd ever sleep all night again, ever go to the bathroom by myself again, ever sit down for an entire meal again.

  I know what the people who ask these questions mean to say.  They want to know if my children are biologically related to me.  No, my kids are not my biological children.  (What, you noticed that I'm not Chinese?)  

But all of them are irrevocably, without-question, forever-and-always, 100% my own.

I Am Thankful...

(I swear I started this post for real on Thanksgiving.  Darn you, unreliable VPN.)

...for my three little blessings.  None of them came into our family easily, but I would walk any of our adoption journeys again in a heartbeat if I knew one of these kiddos was waiting at the end.

...my sweet girl who became a big sister twice this month.  She loves her brothers already and is going to do an awesome job bossing them around loving on them.

...my little ham.  I've known this guy for eleven days, but it feels like he's always been part of our family.  I love his kisses, his energy, and his goofy sense of humor.

...my peanut.  Li'l Dude has changed so much this week.  He has an ornery smile and gives awesome kisses, just like his big brother.  I love this picture because you can see his super-adorable little dimple (and because he's still baby enough to chew on his book instead of reading it - aaahhhh, I have a baby in my house again :).

...my very best friend.  Where would I be without this guy beside me?  He's a rockstar husband and daddy, and he loves me in spite of my control issues failings.  Love you, babe.

\

God has given me much more than I could have hoped for this Thanksgiving (pretty awesome the way he does that), and I am beyond thankful.  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  

(I toyed with the idea of claiming that this post was written so late because of the time change in Ch*ina, but some smarty pants out there would know that we actually had Thanksgiving the day before the U.S.  That makes me really behind...)

A Li'l Bit of Li'l Dude

If you happen to be stalking my blog (hi, Dad!) you might have worried that I didn't post yesterday because I was completely and utterly overwhelmed.  

Ummmm...I was.

And, while I am still never-ever-ever-ever going in public again, today has been a much better day.  Our Li'l Dude is slowly coming out of his shell.  (Can't get enough of this sweet face!)

For the last two days, the tiniest things have caused him to fall apart: diaper changes, people, touches.  There have been some very scary moments, and I definitely cried last night after watching him bang his head against the bed to soothe himself to sleep.  He woke up sobbing this morning, and I thought we were in for another very challenging day.

But Li'l Dude surprised us.

Around 11:30, I took him up to the room alone.  He got down on the floor and starting playing - by himself...without crying.  He looked at himself in the mirror and got out some toys.  When we headed out for Li'l Man's TB test check (which was fine, BTW), he waved and said, "Bye, bye".  He talks!  He was happy and quiet while we drove around and finished our appointment (and then another appointment).

This evening at the hotel, he laughed.  No kidding.  A real giggle.  And he laughed because I turned him upside-down.  The little guy who didn't want you to sneeze too close to him yesterday is laughing when we flip him upside-down.  Where did this silly boy come from?

It's truly amazing to see our Li'l Dude coming alive.  We have a long road ahead of us as we bond and attach with both of our boys, but yay for progress.  

Our tiny peanut might survive in our crazy family after all. :)

A Family of 5

Yup, that's us: Daddy, Mommy, Li'l Miss, Li'l Man, and Li'l Dude.  A family of 5.  
(Yes, Li'l Dude is completely sad and terrified in this picture.)

This Gotcha Day was very different than last week in Shanghai.  We met Li'l Dude at the Guangdong Province Civil Affairs Office.  There were 18 other families there adopting children from different orphanages in this province.  We got there first and were able to meet Li'l Dude before things got really crazy.  (Thank goodness for our guide, Becky, who is the Punctuality Nazi.)

Here's Li'l Dude coming out to meet us with his nanny.

Even though I've only known him for about 7 hours, I can tell that our Li'l Dude has had a rough start to his life.  He's tiny.  He'll be 20 months old tomorrow, and they brought him to us in a sleeper that is size 6-9 months.  As you can see, it fits him just fine.  He's also sick.  He has a fever of 100.8, and he was crying and miserable when we got him this afternoon.  

We met the director of Li'l Dude's orphanage and one of his nannies.  He comes from a small orphanage about 4-5 hours away from the provincial capital (where we are staying).  We were able to ask them some questions before they left to return to the orphanage.  Jeremy asked if Li'l Dude received affection - hugs, kisses, cuddles - in the orphanage.  They said, "No."

Break.  My.  Heart.  How could someone not want to cuddle my sweet peanut?

They also told us that Li'l Dude doesn't take a bottle but can eat from a spoon or cup with no problem.  We discovered that our little guy doesn't seem to know how to eat.  He opens his mouth so you can dump food in but doesn't close his mouth around the spoon.  Once the food is in his mouth, he just sort of swishes it around and swallows.  

We're giving Li'l Dude a bottle because he needs the nutrients (and the cuddles).  We had to cut a bigger hole in the nipple because he was struggling to suck anything out.  We put a washcloth over his chest, and Jeremy half squeezed the formula into his mouth.

It's scary to be handed a child that is teeny and terrified and feverish.  But I have no doubt that Li'l Dude belongs to us.  I have no doubt that he will grow and thrive and reach his fullest potential because he's part of a family now.  He's a son, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin, and a little brother.  He is loved.  He is ours.  Forever.

I can't tell you how thankful I am that our Li'l Dude will never sleep in an orphanage again.  I wish we could have come for him months ago.  I wish he had never been without us. 

There are 49 other children living in Li'l Dude's orphanage.  No one came for them today.  Meeting Li'l Dude makes me want to start this whole crazy journey again tomorrow.  I hope it makes some of you want to do the same.

And, yes, Li'l Dude does have a name.  (You totally thought I forgot, didn't you?)  Our baby boy is officially Hudson Gabriel.

Li'l Man's Medical

Our son officially weighs 15 kg (a.k.a. 33 pounds).  Told ya' he was heavy.

He also has pink eye.

Boo.

Our Trip: Halfway There

Naptime and internet: what a blissful combination. :)

Yesterday we flew from Shanghai to Guangzhou, where we'll meet our second son and go to our appointments for the U.S. Immigration side of our adoption.  Leaving Shanghai was bittersweet.  (We LOVE you, New Harbour Service Apartments.)  Our stay there was awesome, and it will always be a special place to our family since Li'l Man was born and spent the first two-and-a-half-years of his life there.  Plus, they make super delicious steamed dumplings.  (If you notice a little pooch around my waistline when I get home, please pretend it's because I got overly attached to my money belt.)

Guangzhou has been lovely so far.  We're staying on a beautiful little "island" with lots of gorgeous buildings, shops, and walking areas.  The weather is nice (70's-80's during the day), so I can finally pull out my T-shirts and flip-flops.  That's a really good thing, because I was starting to feel like the one hoodie I brought was going to become permanently attached to my arms. 

Li'l Man is doing awesome.  He's curious, silly, and cuddly.  He repeated his first English word on Monday and his vocabulary has taken off ever since.  He now says his sister's name, hi, bye-bye, no, and what.  He thinks the word what is hilarious and screams it randomly while riding on my back in the Ergo.  He's also picking up some signs.  He knows please, more, and all done.  (Mostly more...and more...and more...this kid can eat.)

I know the attachment process will be a long journey, but Li'l Man seems to be starting to attach to Jeremy and me.  He gets upset when one of us leaves the room.  (He's pretty darn scared of being left, period.)  He comes to us when we call and gives hugs and sometimes kisses (if you're really lucky).  He thinks Jeremy is his full-time playmate; he yells "Ba-BA" and points to his stacking cups about 47 times a day.

Li'l Man is a good sleeper (8:30pm to 8:00am last night), but he doesn't want to sleep on his own.  Jeremy and I lay with him until he falls asleep at naptime and bedtime.  We're going to have a full bed if Li'l Dude wants to sleep with us too.  Bathtime is not a favorite either.  He's only been bathed in a sink, so the tub and shower look terrifyingly huge to him.  His first bath brought on a total meltdown, but we managed a shower with only a few tears today.

Don't hear me say that things are all butterflies and rainbows.  I don't think I will ever go out in public again.  (And this is after only meeting two of my three children.)  Li'l Man is fast and strong.  Today he stole a D*ove Chocolate bar from 7-11 while on my back in the Ergo.  I noticed him chewing on something after we left the store.  Ummmm...no candy bars for lunch for you, you little klepto.  (We may or may not have wiped off the wrapper and put the candy bar back without saying anything.)

Here are a few things I've learned about my son...

-He wears 2T clothes and size 7 shoes.
-He sucks the first two fingers of his left hand and twirls his bangs when he's tired.
-He likes congee and steamed dumplings and dried peas and chicken and chocolate and...
-He SOOOOO-PER ticklish.
-He's all boy.  He loves being thrown on the bed, flipped upside-down, and running.

We have a busy day tomorrow.  Li'l Man has a medical appointment in the morning (part of the U.S. Immigration process), and then we meet Li'l Dude in the afternoon around 2:00pm.  (That's 1:00am EST and 10:00pm Sunday on the West Coast.)  Tuesday we'll have several appointments to finalize Li'l Dude's adoption.  Please keep us in your prayers.  I'll do my best to post pictures of Gotcha Day #2 ASAP.

Hugs!  

Oh yeah, and pictures...

As you can see, I've totally been stinking it up when it comes to taking pictures the last few days.  Thankfully, my mama is more than making up for my slackerly-ness.  (Definitely a word.)  I promise to upload some of her pics and post more soon...if I have extra time after breathing and peeing once I have three kids, that is.