When There Are No Words

I really can't write this post right now. I'm utterly exhausted, and this has truly been the most horrifying night of my life. My sweet girl had to be reintubated this evening, and it. was. awful. There are no words.

Today Bean had an EEG, a head CT, breathing treatments, and an Echo. As the day wore on, she kept sliding further and further into lethargy and oxygen desaturation. Finally, she had to be sedated and paralyzed and put back on the vent. Poor girl is just done. Minutes before she was intubated, she was reaching for me and saying, "Up!" Oh, how I wish I could have just wrapped her up in my arms and taken her away from all this hurt and back to normal.

Bean's body is struggling to void fluids. That fluid is building up in and around her lungs. After she was intubated, the doctor had to put in a second chest tube to help drain her right side. Bean's stomach and intestines are still having issues, as well. Her NG tube is set to suction because she was vomiting after being intubated.

I don't have the words to explain tonight, but I had to write something because I know so many of you are praying for Bean. Please keep praying. Our little warrior is fighting a difficult battle.