Thursday, January 17, 2013

My Daughter, The Addict

You read that right.  My four-and-a-half-year-old child has an addiction.  

And it's serious.  

We're not talking about a need-a-fix-every-now-and-then craving; this is a can't-live-without-it, major-withdrawal-inducing, can't-eat-can't-sleep obsession.  I should probably be spending my time planning an intervention instead of writing this post.

Want to meet the object of her addiction?


Yup, my girlie can't live without this pink, rabbit-headed square of blanket that we all affectionately call Lovey.
Here she is when she first fell for Lovey's satin-bordered snuggliness.


Her addiction is my fault.  I know we often try to blame our mamas for our deep-seated issues, but this one really is on me.  When Li'l Miss was about five months old, I read an article that said something like this, "Babies who develop an attachment to a comfort object are more likely to bond with their parents, sleep well at night, attend an Ivy League school, get an advanced degree, stay married, avoid jail, and contribute to the good of humanity."  (New mamas, beware of articles like this one.  They will give you nervous twitches and panic attacks.)

I was a first-time mom, still completely freaked out about this enormous responsibility called motherhood.  I had my nurse friends on speed dial, and I was taking notebooks full lists of questions to my pediatrician at every check-up.  I read this article and was instantly convinced that my sweet, tiny, comfort-object-less baby girl was headed straight for the principal's office (and a life of crime after that).

Thankfully one of my students had given Li'l Miss an adorable pink rabbit/blanket at one of my baby showers.  (I was an elementary teacher for five years before I got the priceless blessing of becoming a full-time mommy.)  I whipped out the little rabbit, steeled myself against my steadfast conviction not to put anything other than a sheet into my baby's crib, and gave Li'l Miss her first taste of Lovey. 

The rest is history.  I oh-so quickly learned that the author of the aforementioned article completely neglected to mention the fact that the parents of the children involved in the study had to pry their child's comfort object out of his/her clenched fist as he/she headed off to Harvard or Stanford or Yale.  

I'm 100% sure I will be doing exactly that.

Li'l Miss can't sleep without Lovey.  This means if there's any chance that we'll be out past bedtime, we'd better bring Lovey along.  If Lovey needs a bath (a.k.a. a spin in the washing machine), it has to happen during waking hours only...and is very likely to happen with a certain little lady's face pressed against the lid of the washing machine.  Li'l Miss has gone to sleep more than once with a slightly-damp Lovey snagged from the dryer.  (She also may or may not have gone to sleep with a slightly-damp Lovey rescued from the potty right before naptime.  Don't judge.  We're talking no Lovey = No naptime.)

 Thankfully, four years later, I'm getting a little bit better at giving myself grace as a parent - something I really couldn't wrap my mind around on that long-ago day when I just knew that my Li'l Miss wasn't going to make it in this world without a comfort object.  I'm a teeny bit less OCD, not quite so paranoid, and daily working to love my children with open hands.  Most of the time I'm able to say, "My four year old has a rabbit-headed blanket attached to her wrist.  So what?  It will fall apart before she starts high school.  (I hope!)"

And, now that I'm a parent again, I can avoid making the same mistakes twice.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Nine Years Ago Today...

...I married this hot guy.


The road we've walked together has been bumpier than we ever anticipated; we've waded through disappointment, heartbreak, and dreams lost.  Our life today isn't exactly the life we pictured on that January evening nine long years ago.  (I mean, my rockin' 2001 P*ntiac Montana is kinda' close, but...) 

I can't tell you how thankful I am to know that I'm married to a man who will hold on to me even when things are tough.  When doors close.  When life takes a crazy turn...or ten.  And, though we've faced some take-your-breath-away struggles, we're surrounded by more unexpected blessings than I could ever count.

So, while life isn't always what I anticipated, the man I married is who he promised.  He's faithful, loving, and a total rockstar daddy.  I'm so glad he wanted to marry me, because I can't imagine sharing the next nine years' worth of adventures with anyone else.

Jeremy Chad, I love you.  No matter what tomorrow holds.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Snapshots of 2012

January
We celebrated eight years of marriage, grieved the loss of a domestic adoption, visited with special friends, and soaked up some very un-Januaryish weather.






February
We got a snowstorm for Valentine's Day and said "YES!" to Li'l Dude's file on the 29th.  (Yup, he's our Leap Year baby.) 






March
Our Ch*na home study was FINALLY completed, Emma got a new look (short hair!), we had a great visit with my family in Southern California, and Li'l Pup joined our family.








April
We celebrated Easter Sunday with family, welcomed Miss R and her mama to hang out with us for a while, and sent our dossier off to our agency.






May
We enjoyed a gorgeous Mother's Day, a super fun visit with Tia (my sis), and a memorable Memorial Day with dear friends.








June
We welcomed summer with a family vacation in Northern Michigan and then were blessed with a visit from two handsome boys.





July
Our little princess turned four (yikes!), we hung out at the County Fair, Jeremy and I snuck away for a few days together at a conference in Palm Desert, and we got LOA!!!







August
We were part of what could arguably be the best family reunion ever in the California mountains.





September
We went to the fair - yes, again, we're all Midwestern like that - had fun camping with friends, and got Travel Approval to bring our boys home!








October
Apparently we did nothing but make hotel reservations and pack in October, because the only pictures I took were of Li'l Miss dressed up for a birthday party.  Oops!




November
We went to my brother's in California and then kept right on flying to bring our boys home from Ch*na.





December
It's been a fun, crazy, trying, joyful, memory-filled month.  And we're all still alive. :)






I really enjoyed putting this post together.  I was surprised how many of the small moments, represented by these photos, I had forgotten: splashing in puddles, playing in the snow, getting dressed up.  In some ways, I feel as though I spent 2012 consumed with adoption; this year brought us to the end of a very journey to our boys.  But that end is also the beginning of our new adventure together as a family.  In 2013, Li'l Man and Li'l Dude will share 365 days worth of small moments with our family.  May those moments be filled with love, peace, and contentment; and may I make the time to treasure each and every one of them.