My Li'l A

Last spring I met a boy.  And I fell in love.

I couldn't stop thinking about his sweet face, his big eyes, and his God-love-em goofy ears.  I thought about him when I woke up and when I couldn't fall asleep at night.  I let his name roll off my tongue and imagined what it would feel like to wrap him up in my arms.  I came so close to that actually happening that I started to let myself taste the hope that he was going to be mine.  Forever.

Want to meet him?   

Here he is: my Li'l A.

(You're in love too, right?  I totally get it.  How could those blue eyes not slay you?)

 Li'l A was born in Eastern Europe to a woman who was HIV+.  She might have been very sick or addicted to drugs or living in prostitution; I don't know.  For some reason she decided that she couldn't take care of her new baby.  

So Li'l A went to live in an orphanage.

Li'l A learned to walk without his mama holding his hand.  He said his first words without his papa cheering him on.  Was he loved?  I hope so.  But what I know is that he didn't have what every child needs: a family.

As he grew, his caretakers discovered that Li'l A was one of the approximately 35% of children born to mothers with HIV who develop the virus themselves.  (This is only true for mothers who do not take antiretroviral medication.  If his mother had been on the proper medication, there is only a 1-2% chance that Li'l A would have contracted the virus.  No, not a 12% chance - a one to two percent chance.)  Had he been healthy, Li'l A would have quickly been adopted by a family in his home country.  But, because he was HIV+, he was overlooked for domestic adoption.  

International adoption became Li'l A's best chance for a family  Adoptive parents who traveled to his orphanage did what they could to find his mama and papa.  One mom wrote a blog post advocating for his adoption; another fell in love with him herself and took tons of adorable pictures.  Li'l A's photo and bio were shared on at least one major photolisting.  

So why didn't someone come to get this sweetie?  While I can't answer that with 100% certainty, I know some of the reasons Li'l A might have been left waiting.  

-He has HIV.  That diagnosis is a big deal and sounds scary to many people.  (If it sounds scary to you, please take a minute to read this.)  

-He shows some signs of having been exposed to alcohol in the womb.  

-He's a boy, and statistics show that 70-90% of adoptive parents request a girl.

As I "got to know" Li'l A, all the things on this list started to matter less and less.  When I looked at him, I saw a little boy who liked cookies...

...made silly faces...

..and looked beyond adorable with his hat on backwards.

I saw a child who needed a family.

Even now, almost a year since our dream to adopt from Eastern Europe died, I can't write this post without crying. If you've recently started reading my blog, you might not know that when our paperwork arrived in EE last summer it missed the deadline for a law change by two days.  That change made children under five with HIV ineligible for international adoption.

My Li'l A will be four-and-a-half at the beginning of next month.  In April he'll turn five.  Of course, in my mind for the past year, I've seen us there for his fifth birthday.  I've pictured the oh-so-painful rollercoaster ride of last summer fading into a distant memory.  I've ever so hesitantly imagined the chaos that would be our life with four kiddos five and under.  And, my husband would tell you, I've pretty much told him started dropping hints that maybe he should be imagining that life too.

Last month I stopped imagining.

Last month we found out that Li'l A had been moved from his babyhouse and taken to a new orphanage.  Children in this orphanage are not available for international adoption.  Ever.

Is he loved?  I hope so.  But what I know is that he still doesn't have a family, and he's not coming home in April.

Why am I sharing this story?

Because my Li'l A is a real person.  His name is Sasha (short for Alexander).  He's four years old.  He doesn't have a mom.  He doesn't have a dad.  He doesn't have a grandma or a grandpa or a big brother or a little sister or a crazy uncle Max.

"There are 15 million children in this world who have lost both of their parents."

 That's a statistic.

Sasha is a child.  A person.  A little boy without a family.

There are 14,999,999 more children like him.

I challenge you to look into the eyes of a child waiting for a family.  Look beyond the list of potentially scary diagnoses that someone might have attached to that child.  See them as a little person who desperately needs someone to fall in love with them.  A little person without a mommy or a daddy.  A little person who, like my Li'l A, might not have many more days or months or years to wait.

Am I telling you to make a rash decision?  Absolutely not.  I'm asking you to put big blue eyes and God-love-em ears on a statistic that might just sound like a statistic to you.  I'm asking you to stop thinking about 15 million and start thinking about 1.

Yes, falling in love with my Li'l A broke my heart into a million pieces.  But I wouldn't have it any other way.  I don't want my heart to be unbroken.

In fact, I want his story to break your heart too.

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"No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing 

because he could only do a little."

-Edmund Burke

Li'l Man's Front Teeth

While I know in my mind that my 28-month-old son should have teeth...

... actually seeing them peeking out from behind his upper lip melts. my. heart.

A big shout out to my friend Deb for finding this photo somewhere in the Blogosphere.  

She pretty much rocks.

Moving Along...and Moving?

I've heard many adoptive parents comment that they really dislike the end of the Ch*na adoption process because it seems to drag on and on.  

I have to respectfully disagree with those people.  

I am loving the last couple of weeks.  

After sending off our dossier (a.k.a. gigantic stack of paperwork) at the end of April and then waiting...and waiting...and waiting...until July 30 when we finally got the news that our LOA had arrived at our agency, this update-every-other-week stage has been pretty much awesome.

So, yes, I do have another fun update to share.  We found out last Friday that our stack of Immigration paperwork had been cabled to the U.S. Consulate in Ch*na.  Our agency sent another stack of paperwork to Ch*na on Monday.  When both of those stacks meet up at the Consulate, we officially have Article 5 Drop-Off.  That is supposed to happen today.  (I totally don't understand this part of the process well enough to explain it at all coherently - the name doesn't even make sense to me - but it's another checkmark on our list.  And I <3 checkmarks.)

Want to know the best part?  Forget my giant semi-complicated diagram.  Here's what's left in our adoption process.

1.) Article 5 Pick-Up (which should happen on Thursday, September 13)

2.)  TRAVEL APPROVAL!!!

Yup...that's it.  Two itty bitty hurdles left between us and our sweet boys.  You know, these cuties.

I'm just a little excited.

The only downside to this update is that it looks like it's going to be best for us to wait until November to travel.  I really hate that it's going to be an extra month of waiting, but the reasons for holding off on travel just keep adding up.  I have to keep reminding myself that Saturday is September, which puts us only two months (and a few days) away from getting on a plane.  Thirty-four months into this crazy process, two months should seem like nothing.  Right?

As for the other part of this post (...and Moving?), we decided that our fall wasn't going to be eventful enough.  After all, what's two more toddlers running around our crazy house? :)

So...we made an offer on a house.

We weren't exactly planning on moving, but then I was looking online and found this amazing house for an amazing price.  My husband thinks the work it needs isn't going to be so amazing, but I kinda' love it. 

We'll see what happens. :)

Li'l Miss & Boots

I love this girl.

And her green-and-pink Scottie dog boots.

But mostly the way she wears her green-and-pink Scottie dog boots on the swings. 

So. Totally. my Li'l Miss.

More Progress!

After a long summer of waiting and not much adoption news, things have started happening!  We found out on Friday afternoon that our I-800 applications to adopt both our boys were approved.  This means that U.S. Immigration has given their okay for us to proceed with our adoption (half of Step 10 on the crazy chart below).  This approval and our file still need to be cabled to the U.S. Consulate in Ch*na.  (Then we'll be on to Step 11.)

It's so exciting to cross one more thing off the list!  Hopefully, we will be finished with Steps 10-14 by the second half of September.  At that point, we'll have TA (Travel Approval) from Ch*na, which basically means we're invited to come get our boys anytime within 90 days.  (It makes me smile just typing that last sentence. :)

On that note, I have a little travel update.  We are considering two possible travel dates: October 11-30 or November 8 - 27.  If our Travel Approval arrives by the week of September 25, either of these should be viable options.  However, as I mentioned last week, travel in October can be tricky because of the Trade Fair (and resulting price increase in hotels, guides, etc.).  My baby brother's wedding is right in between these dates (on November 3), so we can't split the difference and go in the middle.

I have to confess that this part of the process is making me seriously anxious.  I am a freakishly obsessive bit of a planner, and it is so hard not to have dates on the calendar so I can make plans for while we're gone and start looking at flights and hotels.  (Not that I'm not already looking at flights and hotels...)  I know that most adoptive families face this kind of uncertainty, but I'm having a tough time going with the flow right now.

If you feel led to, please pray for peace as we wait on the next few steps to come together.  Also pray for wisdom and provision as we make decisions about travel.  

Thank you, my rockin' bloggy friends.

Wednesday's Waiting Child: Jordy

This little boy melts. my. heart.

Meet "Jordy".  

He's two years old, and he's waiting for his mommy and daddy in an orphanage in Ch*na.  

This little guy snagged my love with his determined spirit.  Jordy has a clubfoot and a leg-length difference, but that does not slow him down at all.   He's agile and strong.  He knows how to crawl and climb, and he's actually taught himself to walk on his knees.

Want to see Jordy in action?  Click here.  (The video is about four minutes long.)

As I watched Jordy on video, I was amazed at how much he's accomplished without surgery, without braces, possibly even without appropriate physical therapy.  A Shriner's Hospital and a loving mommy and daddy could do incredible things for this little man.

Jordy's file says that he is smart and friendly.  He can draw lines, recite poems, identify some shapes, and count to ten.  He is extroverted and "very generous".

Watch this little guy on video.  You can see personality oozing out of him.  (I love the part where he tries to feed a younger child his/her bottle.)

Jordy is on our agency's assigned list for one month.  I believe his month is up very soon (possibly within the week).  If you're interested in more information about Jordy, please let me know ASAP.  You can commit to adopt this little guy even if you have never considered adoption or started any paperwork.  Also, if you are already working with an agency, I am almost positive that my agency would transfer Jordy's file if they don't have a committed family for him.  They've offered to do this in the past, and I truly believe they are committed to the children first.

If you'd like more information on Jordy, please email me at whatitmeans2beheld@gmail.com.  Feel free to share this post or Jordy's information with anyone who might be interested in bringing this sweet boy home.  Thank you!

Three Lovely Little Letters

A few friends have commented that it's been practically forever a while since I've posted an update on our adoption process.  (Actually, it's been practically forever since I've posted at all.  Sorry!)  I wish that I had some exotic excuse (like I've been hanging out on an island with no Wifi), but the real reason is mostly that I haven't had much to share.  For a L-O-N-G time, we've been waiting...and waiting...and waiting for our Letter of Approval (abbreviated to the three lovely little letters L-O-A) to arrive from Ch*na.  There isn't much to do adoption-wise during the LOA wait, so updates on the process aren't super thrilling.

Well...guess what?  After 74 days of waiting, LOAs for both our boys arrived on July 30!  Of course, we happened to be halfway across the country at a conference when they arrived.  Thankfully, our wonderful agency overnighted them to my parents' house in SoCal (just 1-1/2 hours from the conference), so we were able to get them signed and sent off to U.S. Immigration on August 1.

What does all this mean?  First and foremost, one really L-O-N-G stage of waiting is behind us.  (Can I get a woohoo?)  Second, I've been spending my free time researching hotels in Ch*na.  (How fun is that?)  Third, we are getting really C-L-O-S-E to hopping on a plane to go pick up our boys!

I found the awesome chart below to help explain what we've accomplished and what we have left to do before we travel to bring our li'l guys home.  (I take absolutely no credit for this lovely graphic; some way-cool adoptive mama created it.)
 

At this point, we've finished Steps 1-9.  We're waiting on U.S. Immigration to review our Form I-800 and complete Step 10.

What does all this mean in English?

We have five teeny, tiny steps left in our adoption process!  The last of these steps is for the Ch*nese adoption entity to send our TA (Travel Approval).  Based on other adoptive families' timelines, we should receive our Travel Approval sometime during the second half of September.

There is some bad news.  October is not the greatest month for traveling to Ch*na.  They have a festival the first week, so all government offices are closed.  (No government offices = no adoption appointments/paperwork.)  The last two weeks there is a gigantic trade fair in one of the provinces we have to visit.  This makes travel and hotels much more expensive.  Boo.  On top of that, two of us are in a wedding on November 3.

So...our agency is recommending that we leave the second week of November.  October sounds oh-so-much closer (and I haven't totally given up hope that we'll travel then), but either way, it's so exciting to get a glimpse of the end of this journey (and to spend endless hours on agoda.com).

Even though I haven't had much to say in a while, thanks for asking anyway.  It means a lot to know that people are following along with our journey and praying for us and our boys...who may or may not finally have names. ;-)