Once Li'l Bean gets home, she will undoubtedly have to follow Daddy's No-Dating-'Til-You're-35 Rule. (Sorry, boys, Li'l Miss and Li'l Bean are pretty much off-limits until sometime after 2040.) While she's in Ch*na, though, it looks like Li'l Bean's orphanage is pretty much chock full of adorable potential boyfriends. Want to meet some of them? I'd love to introduce you.
Writing a post about adopting boys from Ch*na has been on my heart for a long time. If you're like most people I've talked with, the idea of Ch*nese boys waiting to be adopted is a bit shocking to you. When you think of adoption from Ch*na, you probably picture rows and rows of cribs holding sweet baby girls. Maybe you're even one of the people who has said to me, "You brought home boys from Ch*na?" or "I thought Ch*na had lots of girls waiting to be adopted!"
If that's you, don't feel badly. Misconceptions about adoption from Ch*na are pretty widespread. Personally, I used to be convinced that adoption from Ch*na was only for very wealthy people who wanted to wait years and years for their child. (Oh, and then there was that part about being super skinny.) Boy, was I misinformed! Our adoption process taught me that not-so-rich mommies and daddies with a little tummy pudge can actually go from application to travel in less than a year.
Trends in Ch*nese adoption have been changing for years, but the general public's knowledge of this evolution is lagging. When it comes to the number of boys waiting, the public's perception is way off. Ch*na maintains a "shared list" of children currently registered for adoption. (This list gets its name from the fact that it is shared by all agencies placing children from Ch*na.) There are typically around 2,000 children on this list. In recent months, approximately 3-out-of-4 of the children listed have been boys. You read that correctly: roughly 1,500 of 2,000 waiting children are boys.
There are many reasons to account for the large number of waiting boys. Some of them are actually very positive. For many years, Ch*nese parents have only been allowed one child, and the prized baby was a boy. Thankfully, the stigma toward baby girls has been lessening. The One Child Policy has been somewhat relaxed, so parents are sometimes able to try for a second child if their first is a girl. Also, domestic adoption in Ch*na is on the rise. (YAY!) Healthy babies - and even some babies with surgically-repaired needs - are now being adopted in Ch*na. Many of those healthy baby girls who used to fill the waiting lists are now being adopted in-country. These are encouraging changes!
Unfortunately, birth defects are on the rise in Ch*na. Between 2003-2013, birth defects in Ch*na increased by 70%. While Ch*nese parents are letting go of the stigma attached to having a girl, children with medical needs are still very stigmatized. Orphanage directors say that 90-98% of children entering their care in recent years have some type of special need. This means that most boys in orphanages have some type of medical need.
It's a pretty big change in expectation for adoptive families to shift their focus from healthy baby girl to boy with special needs. Because of this, there are many more families open to young girls - especially those with "minor" needs - than to boys. This fact breaks my heart for so many reasons. In fact, I could probably fill another blog post (or ten) with my thoughts on the joys of mothering little guys. For now I'll just say that my boys - who came to us through the Ch*na Special Needs Program - are priceless treasures who bring joy to my heart and adventure to our family each and every day.
Li'l Bean's orphanage is no exception to the trends I've mentioned above. Our adoption agency is partnered with her orphanage (meaning they get many newly-listed children's files). Currently, they have sixteen boys waiting and just one girl. I know that my little blog can only do so much to change our entrenched views of Ch*nese adoption. One thing I can do, though, is demonstrate a real need. I want you to meet Li'l Bean's boyfriends. Each and every one of them is just as real, just as full of life, and just as in need of a family as our Bean.
Below are pictures and short bios of some of the boys waiting in Bean's orphanage. The names I've used are privacy names given by our agency. Sadly, the little guys whose bios are written in red have been waiting since Christmas. They were listed at the same time as our sweet girl, and they have yet to find their families. Their files will be returned to China's general list very soon. The boys with blue bios have been waiting since January and will go back to the shared list in April.
I implore you to take a few minutes to meet these sweet boys. The bios I've included are short, and there are lots of adorable pictures and even videos. Please pray for families to come forward for each one of these little guys, and consider whether you might have room at your house for one (or two!) of them.
Maverix - DOB 5/2013
This little man has stolen my heart. He shares a birthday with our daughter, and they have the same heart defect. Unlike our daughter, Maverix has had surgery to repair his heart, but he still needs surgery for his bilateral cleft lip and cleft palate. Maverix's file says he enjoys baths and watching cartoons. You can watch him in action here.
Brinx - DOB 11/2012
Brinx has the cutest smile. His file says he is "smart, cute, and strong". His special need is post-operative anal atresia. (For those of you who live in the Midwest, Nationwide Children's is a great hospital for children with this need.) You can see Brinx in action here.
Parx - DOB 4/2011
This cutie is my Li'l Dude's age. From this picture, he looks to be just as rough-and-tumble as my little guy. Parx has a developmental delay (particularly in expressive language) and a history of seizures. He has good physical development and especially likes going to playground to swing. You can see this handsome little guy cuddle with his foster mother here.
Merrix - DOB 1/2013
This chunky-cheeked little man is described as "fat and cute". He likes to touch his caregiver's face while being cuddled. He has PKU, which requires a special diet, and developmental delays. See him in action here.
Kennewix - DOB 11/2012
I adore this sweet boy. Our Li'l Man had this haircut when we met him in Ch*na. Kennewix is said to have weakened muscle force in his limbs. He likes watching children play and taking baths. His file says that he likes to beat the water, splash, and smile while bathing. You can watch a short video of Kennewix here.
Baileywix - DOB 5/2011
I love, love, love Baileywix. (Okay, I pretty much love them all.) This sweet boy has microtia (undeveloped ears) with some hearing loss. He is not completely deaf; the orphanage provided video that shows him following verbal directions. Baileywix has been in a foster-type environment. Our agency has lots of pictures of this little guy. There are baby pictures and pics of him cuddling with other foster children, like this one...
Baileywix is described as busy and bright-eyed. You can watch him here.
Cedrix - DOB 10/2008
Is Cedrix handsome, or what? This sweet six-year-old is described by his caregivers as "smart and lovely". Cedrix was abandoned when he was three years old and now lives in a foster family. Cedrix is deaf and cannot speak, but he uses simple sign language and is able to express his needs. Our agency believes he actually attends a school for deaf children, but this has not yet been confirmed. Click here to watch a recent video of Cedrix walking to school.
Brunswix - DOB 3/2013
This little cutie celebrates his second birthday this month. His special need is post-op anal atresia. Brunswix is developmentally on target, and he is oh-so cute with those chunky cheeks. Check him out on video here.
Eastwix - DOB 2/2012
This little guy sounds like he is all boy. His report says he likes the swings, slide, and playing in the sand. He can speak the word "car" loudly when he sees a car. His special need is a brain scan difference. Watch out, his smile in this video will melt your heart.
Renwix - DOB 4/2007
This adorable little guy is said to be clever, easygoing, and open. His file says he likes communicating with people and learns quickly. He likes to read and can count and write from 1-100. He lives in a foster family where he helps his younger brother and sister put on his shoes and helps his foster mother with the trash. His special need is listed as Dandy-Walker syndrome. Unfortunately, I don't have a video of this super cute little dude.
Zaxby - DOB 11/2012
Sweet Zaxby was abandoned when he was four months old. He has a heart defect and Down Syndrome. He likes to be teased and played with. Check out his teeth coming in and his sweet clapping in this video.
Harwix - 5/2008
Harwix has major delays due to brain underdevelopment. He lives in a foster home and loves getting attention from his caregivers.
Lexington - DOB 10/2011
Little Lexington was abandoned in October 2013 when he was two years old. He has muscle weakness in his legs but can walk with support. He likes to hold the milk bottles and feed the younger children. Check out his super cute pout and his All-American PJs in this video clip.
Drexler - DOB 9/2006
Drexler was found abandoned when he was two years old. He cannot hear or speak, but he has good a memory and is observant. Drexler also has a heart defect. He attends a special school for handicapped children. He file says he gets good grades, respects his teacher, and gets along well with other children.
Dominix - DOB 12/2009
Dominix was abandoned when he was three years old. He has been living in the orphanage for years because no one submitted his adoption paperwork. Dominix is blind, but he is described as a bright, smart, and independent boy. He lives in foster care and likes playing with other children.
Essex - DOB 11/2012
Essex is described in his file as having "smart eyes". He has postoperative hydrocephalus, a left indirect inguinal hernia, and low muscular tension. He can hold his milk bottle to drink, and he likes taking baths.
If you've made it this far, thank you! I'm so grateful that you were willing to take a few minutes to see these little men. These sweet guys, viewed by the world as imperfect in some way, have taken the place of healthy baby girls as the face of Ch*na's orphan crisis. These splashing, swinging, giggling boys are filling Ch*na's orphanages. They are waiting for mommies and daddies who could use a little more a crazy, a little more mud, and a few more sword battles in their families. Maybe one of those families is yours.
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